The Lunar Effect

Tell me the story of how the sun loved the moon so much, he died every night to let her breathe….. 

Halloween is on it’s way.  Yes, a month away but I decided to start early.  Kirsty from KLB Images who helped me with my photos this week decided she’d like to do something dark so avoiding the common zombie type photos, we decided to go for something more terrifying… Real life madness!

Throughout the years, the full moon has been blamed for madness amongst us.  It’s synonymous with werewolves, vampires and just plain lunacy amongst we mere mortals.  Of course, the word lunacy comes from the word Luna meaning the moon. Whether or not the full moon does affect our moods and our sanity will always be an argument that no one can win.  Personally I believe people are affected by it.

From my own battles with depression and PTSD, I know the feeling of not always being understood by the rest of the world and I wanted to convey how much effort it takes restraining yourself from acting out how you’re really feeling.   How sad and crazy you feel when you’re battling your demons all on your own.

I decided on an old building here in my home town, went shopping for some clothes to rip up and we were ready.  We headed to our location, a chair and a pink umbrella our only props.  It was unbelievably windy which helped make Kirsty’s long hair look even crazier in the photos.   It was difficult to get a shot without her hair completely covering her face  but I was happy with the photos I got.

When we got home, I started to edit one of my favourites of her with a pink umbrella, straight away.  She  was standing behind me when she suddenly said, “zoom in”.  I did and was quite freaked out to find someone standing in the window of the old building.  Now, I’m not saying it isn’t possible that it was a person actually in there, however, I took a photo 4 seconds before I took this one and there was no one in the window in that or any of the 162 photos I took.  Just the one I was working on.  The windows are all covered in plastic and although I know most people will write it off as just someone standing there, I personally believe it was not a living being.  You can make up your own mind.

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But beyond being freaked out by that photo, I have quite a few good images that I’ll be working on over the next few weeks from this shoot.  I have chosen 3 that I’m thrilled to share with you today.   I’m really looking forward to doing a few other spooky shoots leading up to Halloween that I’m sure won’t freak me out anywhere near as much as the photo above.

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Let’s Make Some Memories

Let’s make some memories.  Laugh and cry and reach for the sky.  And if by chance we don’t touch the stars, we can say we tried.  Let’s make some memories…..Jane Olivor

I had a hair cut a few weeks ago.  Big deal you say?  I didn’t realise how big a deal it would end up being.  Sometimes the smallest thing can become a catalyst for seeing things differently.  I suddenly realised that, at 55, this is the youngest I’m going to be for the rest of my life.

I talk a lot about the glamour of old photography and how important it is to leave a lasting legacy for future generations but I’ve never really taken heed of my own advice.  Yesterday, I made the momentous decision to embrace the now and have some studio photos taken.  I wanted some unashamed glamour.  I wanted to celebrate who I am and where I’ve come from.  So I phoned the lovely Kirsty and told her I needed her help.  We set the lights and background up, I knew what I wanted and she clicked away.

I’ll happily admit to working on the photos in Photoshop.  I’m not into Photoshopping the everyday of myself but I’m a firm believer that everybody, man and woman, should have at least one photograph  that makes them feel good about themselves.  In fact, they should have an album full.  I kept thinking that before I had some really good photos taken, I should lose weight and go on an extensive skin routine, get more dental work done and……..you get the drift. Why wait?

Taking photos from a clever angle with the right lighting and a little bit of help from make up and Photoshop, regardless of what stage of life you’re in, will ensure you look the best you possible.  If you don’t like your smile, don’t smile.  Have a serious photo done.  If you feel self conscious about your body,  have head shots done.  Just stop making excuses.  Like me, you’re never going to be younger than you are right this moment, so celebrate every one of those moments and leave some memories behind.

It wasn’t an easy process for me yesterday, even though I’m on the other side of the camera all the time and knew how to pose to avoid double chins and deep wrinkles from showing up.  But I decided to play with the camera instead of fighting it. I pretended I was a model and pulled faces.  Some worked, some didn’t.   I’ve always disliked my hands and so hate them showing in photos but yesterday, I decided to embrace them, regardless how much they look like chubby sausages wrapped in chicken skin and made them a feature.  I love looking at photos of my mum’s hands. When I see them, I can feel them all over again so why not show mine?

I can promise you, future generations won’t remember your wrinkles or your weight when you’re gone.  They’ll remember the way your eyes shine when you talk about something that excites you.  They’ll remember the way it felt to dance, riding on your feet.  They won’t remember the liver spots or the chicken skin of your hands, but I promise they’ll remember the way those hands felt when you touched their face or cooled a fever.  In short, they’ll remember the way you made them feel.

Leave them with some beautiful images that match your beautiful soul.  It’s never too late to celebrate you.

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There You’ll Be

In my dreams I’ll always see you soar above the sky.  In my heart there’ll always be a place for you for all my life.  I’ll keep a part of you with me and everywhere I am, there you’ll be. …… Faith Hill

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Never Fear What’s Ahead

Your biggest enemy was never the wolf…. It’s always been the fear of moving forward… Livonne

I’ve always been a worrier.  If someone was late home, I imagined they were injured or in trouble and couldn’t contact me to let me know.  If a letter came in, I wouldn’t open it for fear it might be something bad.  If someone asked me to join in something, I would find an excuse for fear I might fail at it.

Well no more!  I have lived through all those things and I’m still standing.  Sometimes those I love were late  because they stopped to buy flowers.  Sometimes, they never came home and my heart broke.   I’ve opened those letters… some were good, some were bad.  I’ve joined in.. Occasionally I’ve been laughed at but usually I’ve just had fun.

Our fear holds us back much more than the events that happen.  I’ve started to change my inner dialogue.  This is something I’ve been working on for years but lately I’ve really started to jump on the taunts I give myself and rephrase everything.  Yes something bad might happen, but what if it DOESN’T?  Do I waste the rest of my life preparing for the worst?  NO! I can’t keep living with fear.

This week, I faced my fear of not being good enough and entered a large art competition with one of my pieces of work.  As I hit that send button, I was completely terrified.  Then once it was done, I realised that nothing happend.  Nothing in my world had changed.  I’d sent an image to an art show.  Nothing more.  My mum always used to say “The worst thing they can do is say no”.  She was right.  The worst thing that can happen is that it doesn’t win a prize.  Probably 95% of the other entrants won’t win a prize either.  But I can never be in the top 5% if I never put it out there in the first place.

No more fear here… Well at least no more letting the fear win.  My enemy isn’t an external thing.  It’s all internal and it’s time to let it go.  It’s time to start moving forward. It’s the only way to live.

To Grandma's House

To Grandma’s House